To be honest, I’ve been feeling a bit all over the place lately. Excited about opportunity one moment…completely overwhelmed and defeated the next. For as much as I try to live in the present, I’m a worry-wart at heart: an endless planner, a list checker, a goal seeker. In the midst of all of that, I can’t help but look forward to a vacation – a trip away from the hustle and the responsibilities and all the messy grown-up stuff. I’m either all-in or not at all; there is no in-between with me.
Do you ever wonder why childhood was so magical? Why we look back on it with both fond hearts and a sadness of its passing? Sure, we didn’t have to worry about paying the bills or pursuing careers or making good first impressions or being a well rounded human. But beyond lacking the responsibilities that come with being an adult – and perhaps because of this very thing – children live wholeheartedly, unselfconsciously, in the present. They have an instinct, and they act on it – often without thinking about the consequences. They immerse themselves wholly in their current state of pretend – not thinking about its silliness or what “goals” it will achieve. They’ll eat that ice cream cone because…why wouldn’t you? Any “detriment” it may cause does not matter to someone living for the present moment.
(I think that’s why I became an actor.)
We can’t live a life without ever putting plans in place or thinking about the outcomes of our actions; our lives and the world would be in one big state of chaos. But sometimes, I think we should pull a page from the children’s book and decide to just be wherever we are. To embrace it, to enjoy it. To not juggle 100 things at once or stress about that phone call I have to make tomorrow. If maybe, just for today, only right now mattered.
I’m working on quieting my brain. On letting go. On accepting that with the work, so follows the success. On embracing my inner child.