slowing down

This week has felt exceptionally long. And I have felt exceptionally tired. I’m assuming it’s a culmination of several things that have all attributed to this longest week in existence.

I last talked about the winter/new year blues setting in and searching for ways to combat it. Being stuck in an office all day doesn’t help, but because that’s the current state of my life, I have to find alternative remedies. And in evaluating my life, and suffering from some annoying anxiety this week, I’ve come to one overarching conclusion: I need to slow down.

I don’t mean slow down as in, walk slower, or stop working towards my dreams, or even really doing less. I mean slow down as in being intentional about what it is I do DO and really just taking care of myself.

We live in a day and age where everyone is “busy”, and much to my chagrin, I’ve even become one of those annoying people who says they are “too busy” to respond to a text message or send an email or grab coffee.

Do I wish there were more hours in a day? Yes. Do I have to schedule things in and prioritize and compromise on commitments? Yes. But people will make time for what they want to make time for…for what is important to them. So, here is my public apology if I have ever told you “I’m sorry, I’ve been so busy.” Because even though that may technically be true, I can always make time for what’s important.

And what’s important to me? First: taking a deep breath, letting go, and relaxing. Things will get done. My dreams will come to fruition if I keep putting in the work. I don’t need to worry about what isn’t happening and what I’m going to do because I know what to do. I can find the time to do the things I both want and need if I’m intentional about it.

Secondly: taking care of myself. I’m not okay with being tired all of the time. Or feeling anxious. Or worn out and helpless in general. So whether that’s cutting coffee, eating better, exercising, getting more sleep, stretching, drinking water…I need to do all of it. I can’t have the energy for my life if I don’t take care of the mind and body that inhabit it. Here’s also my commitment to start meditation next week.

All of this is just to say – to myself and to you – relax. It will be okay. I also fully grasp the irony of me saying that because I’m nothing if not a ball of neurotic stress, and I also hate, HATE, being told to relax. But I’m going to say it all the same.

Slow down, look up, let go – some familiar words I said to myself in 2014 that still ring just as true and vital.

It’s Friday – THANK GOD. Enjoy your weekend!

-wonderland sam

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actress/texan kickin' it in los angeles. always searching for my next pizza. cia agent in another life.

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